Traffic Announcement Is Getting Longer Nowadays

Last time it used to be " jangan gunakan telefon bimbit ketika memandu" at the end of the live traffic announcement on  radio.

But now it is " jangan berBBM, twitter, facebook dan sms ketika memandu". 

Sekian. Berhati hati ketika memandu.

-PP-

Pertandingan Saya Rasa Saya Kebal

Setakat 9 Ramadhan, pihak penganjur telah menerima tiga penyertaan bagi pertandingan Saya Rasa Saya Kebal untuk tahun ini. Peserta pertama ialah seorang remaja yang mewakili Kelantan dengan aktiviti beliau melawan mercun bola. Hasilnya, remaja tersebut putus tiga hari hasil kecekapan mercun meletup dahulu sebelum dibaling. Berita lanjut, klik sini.

Peserta seterusnya juga berasal dari Kelantan dengan penyertaaan yang agak kreatif iaitu melawan mercun buatan sendiri. Adik Mohd Hazirul Hanif, ketika ditemubual oleh wakil penganjur memberitahu bahawa mercun buatan sendiri beliau yang menggunakan mercun bola dan lampu kalimantang itu meletup semasa dalam proses pembikinan. Beliau hanya cedera ringan dan tidak mustahil untuk meneruskan penyertaaan di musim hadapan kerana mempunyai bakat dan potensi yang boleh diperbaiki.

Peserta terakhir ialah adik Fakhrul Danish yang berasal dari Kedah. Beliau dikatakan mempunyai kuasa ajaib kerana hanya dengan renungan sahaja boleh membuatkan mercun meletup. Agak malang kerana beliau merenung mercun dalam jarak yang terlalu dekat hingga menyebabkan kecederaan pada muka.

Pihak penganjur mengjangkakan akan menerima beberapa lagi penyertaan sebelum akhir Ramadhan. Ini berikutan peserta dari Terengganu masih lagi belum menghantar wakil mereka.

Nampaknya, selain dari menjuarai Liga Super, Kelantan juga hebat dalam melahirkan juara kebal.

Pihak penganjur ingin mengambil kesempatan ini untuk mengumumkan bahawa format pertandingan akan diubah untuk musim hadapan bagi menarik lebih ramai penyertaan. Nama pertandingan juga akan ditukar kepada "Saya Memang Bebal".

-PP-

Helloo...I'm Back, For A Little While, Maybe.

My workload has prevented me from regularly updating this blog. (I am not going to go into detail but I was busy plotting a conspiracy against Anwar Ibrahim, again).

Anyhow, wishing all of you Muslim readers a "Selamat Berpuasa" is kind of late and cliche'. You may have heard the same phrase being uttered for a few hundred times by now.

So, I just want to take this opportunity to wish all of you Muslim readers Selamat Beribadat di bulan Ramadhan, semoga mendapat keberkatan.

Wait for my next entry soon.

-PP-

Pakai Skirt Seksi Ke?

I am without my own laptop, so typing with unfamiliar equipment, to me is troublesome. Plus, I am a little bit lazy anyway. That explains the reason why there was no posting from me for the past week. I am still on a borrowed computer now.

Anyhow, this particular heading in Berita Harian really caught my attention. "BWF nafi wajibkan pemain badminton wanita pakai skirt untuk lebih seksi, tetapi agar aksi lebih menarik". They are now comparing badminton with tennis with the belief that short skirts equals more spectators. 

But, there are a lot of Russians and Eastern European women in tennis compared to badminton which might be the real contributing factor in the large number of spectators. Plus, women tennis also equals to hard nipples on display.

BWF might need to think of different way in wooing people to watch badminton. Ok, short skirt might be a good start for now. I'll say YES for short skirt.

-PP-

Be Gone 1Malaysia, 1Gelang In Town Now.

And so AC Mizal masuk UMNO. What the fuss?. Everyday, there are people joining UMNO tap takde nak kecoh kecoh pun. Just because he is AC Mizal, terus jadi havoc. Wtf!

Lepas ni, slogan 1Malaysia akan ditukar menjadi 1Gelang. Gelang ajaib yang boleh menyembuhkan pelbagai penyakit katanya. 

Kadar pengganguran akan meningkat kerana doktor, pembantu perubataan, jururawat akan kehilangan kerja kerana hospital dan klinik akan tutup kedai. Tidak terkecuali mereka yang terlibat di dalam industri kesihatan seperti pembekal ubat dan peralatan hospital.

Abis la......

-PP-

BMI To Be Recorded in Student Report Card

Imagine this in a student report card :-

1. BM - Fail

2. BI - Fail

3. BMI - Fail

Gelap masa depan ooooooo.

-PP-

Fake Eggs Turn Out To Be Genuine

The Health Minister confirmed that the "fake" eggs sample taken from Penang were actually genuine following the DNA test conducted by the Chemistry Department. You can read further here, here and here.

I also post my skepticism over this fake egg issue here and how slow the CAP picked up this issue. You may also refer to this article explaining that these fake eggs story is actually a hoax.

The housewife and CAP should now be proud of themself for being able to waste the time of  the Health Minister, Penang Domestic Affairs, Co-operatives and Consumerism Department officers, Veterinary Services Department, Chemistry Department, the reporters and the public for worrying about this non - existence issue.

-PP-

p/s : DNA telur ayam dah settle, DNA Anwar Ibrahim bila lagi?

Pakcik Yang Dangkal Fikiran.

Berikut adalah petikan dari seorang pakcik yang agak dangkal fikirannya : 

''Tolong lepaskan, saya rela mati syahid dengan terjun bangunan ini demi maruah anak. Bagi saya peluang jumpa isteri dan anak-anak di bawah (mahkamah),'' jeritnya sehingga menyebabkan hampir 10 anggota polis berkawal di sekitarnya. Baca selanjutnya di sini. 

Wahai pakcik, sila ambil perhatian bahawa mati terjun bangunan tidak dikira sebagai mati syahid, walau pun demi maruah anak. Itu dipanggil mati katak atau dalam bahawa yang lebih sopan, kematian mengejut. Syahid konon.....

-PP-

Of Fake Eggs......

And so I read in the newspaper and watch on the television about this fake eggs that are now being sold in Penang. The eggs are supposed to be originated from China. 

Man, I tell you this Chinamen can almost fake anything, right from the branded item to eggs. They even fake a car. The only thing they cannot fake is the Omega watch belongs to Anwar Ibrahim (ni selingan je).

So, how do you make a fake egg? In satisfying my curiosity, I did some reading on the nets. What I get was some contradicting stories about this fake eggs. Some says that these are reals but there was also an article stating that this is just a hoax circulating via email since 2004. If it is really a hoax and has been around since 2004, then CAP is pretty slow in picking this up. 7 years dude!.

Strange enough, why would someone took so much of a trouble to export the egg out of China while there are billion of Chinese that could consume the so called fake egg locally. 

Maybe CAP could also start looking at the case of fake boobs now and post this is their website "Fake boobs spotted in Penang."  I am pretty sure that there are plenty of "imported" fake boobs in the area of Batu Feringgi.

-PP-

Berita Ringkas Untuk Minggu Ini

1. Dengan kes kematian mengejut pegawai kastam, SPRM bercadang untuk membina pejabat mereka dengan ketinggian maksimum 2 meter dari tanah. Dengan ini, kes kes terjun bangunan oleh saksi dan mereka yang disyaki terlibat dengan rasuah dapat dielakkan. Tender akan dibuka tidak lama lagi.

2. Berikutan tersebarnya video clip yang dikatakan aksi seks Anwar Ibrahim, makin ramai manusia yang tiba tiba menjadi pakar dalam menilai susuk tubuh Anwar Ibrahim ketika tidak berbaju. Perut buncit la, tetek layut la. Agak pelik juga dengan analisa dan perbandingan tersebut sedangkan Anwar Ibrahim tidak pernah muncuk di khalayak ramai dengan hanya bertuala sahaja.

3. Pengusaha telur Omega melaporkan bahawa jualan telur Omega tiba tiba meningkat selepas pendedahan Dato T. Bagi mereka yang bependapatan sederhana, telur Omega menjadi ganti kepada jam Omega yang agak tidak mampu untuk dimiliki.

4. Wan Azizah bakal dicalonkan sebagai isteri mithali dan paling penyabar di dunia. Liwat ka, seks dengan pelacur ka, Kak Wan tak kisah....

-PP-

How To Make Yourself Important

If you are nobody in an organisation, I have a tip on how you can make yourself become important and noticeable.

The answer is create an issue and make it public (within the organisation of course). You can create any issue but the best is to recreate an issue that has already been resolved. 

You may also create an issue and let someone else look for the solution. Or create an issue that is not directly involved with you or your department, in the case of work place. 

Trust me, you will immediately gain popularity and becoming important. Not need to worry about losing any friends though.

Don't trust me? Look at Bung Mokhtar now. Abis kiri kanan kena bantai lepas tu cakap kena sexual harassment pulak.

-PP-