Pakai Skirt Seksi Ke?

I am without my own laptop, so typing with unfamiliar equipment, to me is troublesome. Plus, I am a little bit lazy anyway. That explains the reason why there was no posting from me for the past week. I am still on a borrowed computer now.

Anyhow, this particular heading in Berita Harian really caught my attention. "BWF nafi wajibkan pemain badminton wanita pakai skirt untuk lebih seksi, tetapi agar aksi lebih menarik". They are now comparing badminton with tennis with the belief that short skirts equals more spectators. 

But, there are a lot of Russians and Eastern European women in tennis compared to badminton which might be the real contributing factor in the large number of spectators. Plus, women tennis also equals to hard nipples on display.

BWF might need to think of different way in wooing people to watch badminton. Ok, short skirt might be a good start for now. I'll say YES for short skirt.

-PP-

Be Gone 1Malaysia, 1Gelang In Town Now.

And so AC Mizal masuk UMNO. What the fuss?. Everyday, there are people joining UMNO tap takde nak kecoh kecoh pun. Just because he is AC Mizal, terus jadi havoc. Wtf!

Lepas ni, slogan 1Malaysia akan ditukar menjadi 1Gelang. Gelang ajaib yang boleh menyembuhkan pelbagai penyakit katanya. 

Kadar pengganguran akan meningkat kerana doktor, pembantu perubataan, jururawat akan kehilangan kerja kerana hospital dan klinik akan tutup kedai. Tidak terkecuali mereka yang terlibat di dalam industri kesihatan seperti pembekal ubat dan peralatan hospital.

Abis la......

-PP-

BMI To Be Recorded in Student Report Card

Imagine this in a student report card :-

1. BM - Fail

2. BI - Fail

3. BMI - Fail

Gelap masa depan ooooooo.

-PP-

Fake Eggs Turn Out To Be Genuine

The Health Minister confirmed that the "fake" eggs sample taken from Penang were actually genuine following the DNA test conducted by the Chemistry Department. You can read further here, here and here.

I also post my skepticism over this fake egg issue here and how slow the CAP picked up this issue. You may also refer to this article explaining that these fake eggs story is actually a hoax.

The housewife and CAP should now be proud of themself for being able to waste the time of  the Health Minister, Penang Domestic Affairs, Co-operatives and Consumerism Department officers, Veterinary Services Department, Chemistry Department, the reporters and the public for worrying about this non - existence issue.

-PP-

p/s : DNA telur ayam dah settle, DNA Anwar Ibrahim bila lagi?

Pakcik Yang Dangkal Fikiran.

Berikut adalah petikan dari seorang pakcik yang agak dangkal fikirannya : 

''Tolong lepaskan, saya rela mati syahid dengan terjun bangunan ini demi maruah anak. Bagi saya peluang jumpa isteri dan anak-anak di bawah (mahkamah),'' jeritnya sehingga menyebabkan hampir 10 anggota polis berkawal di sekitarnya. Baca selanjutnya di sini. 

Wahai pakcik, sila ambil perhatian bahawa mati terjun bangunan tidak dikira sebagai mati syahid, walau pun demi maruah anak. Itu dipanggil mati katak atau dalam bahawa yang lebih sopan, kematian mengejut. Syahid konon.....

-PP-

Of Fake Eggs......

And so I read in the newspaper and watch on the television about this fake eggs that are now being sold in Penang. The eggs are supposed to be originated from China. 

Man, I tell you this Chinamen can almost fake anything, right from the branded item to eggs. They even fake a car. The only thing they cannot fake is the Omega watch belongs to Anwar Ibrahim (ni selingan je).

So, how do you make a fake egg? In satisfying my curiosity, I did some reading on the nets. What I get was some contradicting stories about this fake eggs. Some says that these are reals but there was also an article stating that this is just a hoax circulating via email since 2004. If it is really a hoax and has been around since 2004, then CAP is pretty slow in picking this up. 7 years dude!.

Strange enough, why would someone took so much of a trouble to export the egg out of China while there are billion of Chinese that could consume the so called fake egg locally. 

Maybe CAP could also start looking at the case of fake boobs now and post this is their website "Fake boobs spotted in Penang."  I am pretty sure that there are plenty of "imported" fake boobs in the area of Batu Feringgi.

-PP-

Berita Ringkas Untuk Minggu Ini

1. Dengan kes kematian mengejut pegawai kastam, SPRM bercadang untuk membina pejabat mereka dengan ketinggian maksimum 2 meter dari tanah. Dengan ini, kes kes terjun bangunan oleh saksi dan mereka yang disyaki terlibat dengan rasuah dapat dielakkan. Tender akan dibuka tidak lama lagi.

2. Berikutan tersebarnya video clip yang dikatakan aksi seks Anwar Ibrahim, makin ramai manusia yang tiba tiba menjadi pakar dalam menilai susuk tubuh Anwar Ibrahim ketika tidak berbaju. Perut buncit la, tetek layut la. Agak pelik juga dengan analisa dan perbandingan tersebut sedangkan Anwar Ibrahim tidak pernah muncuk di khalayak ramai dengan hanya bertuala sahaja.

3. Pengusaha telur Omega melaporkan bahawa jualan telur Omega tiba tiba meningkat selepas pendedahan Dato T. Bagi mereka yang bependapatan sederhana, telur Omega menjadi ganti kepada jam Omega yang agak tidak mampu untuk dimiliki.

4. Wan Azizah bakal dicalonkan sebagai isteri mithali dan paling penyabar di dunia. Liwat ka, seks dengan pelacur ka, Kak Wan tak kisah....

-PP-

How To Make Yourself Important

If you are nobody in an organisation, I have a tip on how you can make yourself become important and noticeable.

The answer is create an issue and make it public (within the organisation of course). You can create any issue but the best is to recreate an issue that has already been resolved. 

You may also create an issue and let someone else look for the solution. Or create an issue that is not directly involved with you or your department, in the case of work place. 

Trust me, you will immediately gain popularity and becoming important. Not need to worry about losing any friends though.

Don't trust me? Look at Bung Mokhtar now. Abis kiri kanan kena bantai lepas tu cakap kena sexual harassment pulak.

-PP-

Jadilah Masyarakat Berilmu

Untuk menjadi insan yang berilmu, kita perlu banyak membaca. Yes, read anything that you can whenever you have the time. Read blogs, magazine, newspapers, books, advertisement etc. 

Bila baca newspaper tu, read in details on the commentary, articles, ulasan berita dan  lain lain yang sewaktu dengannya and try to digest the information. Cerita pasal accident ke, rompak ke, baca headline je. Just for your to keep up with the news. Tak perlu nak risau sangat kenapa la kenapa ada orang sanggup pergi rogol nenek berumur 69 tahun.

Cerita cerita berikut, seboleh bolehnya perlu dielakkan:

1. Gossip artis Malaysia, siapa paling seksi, siapa kawin lagi.

2. Cerita karut Mastika

3. Luahan hati pelajar perempuan yg berumur 15 tahun yang jatuh cinta dengan senior di sekolah.

4. Kisah budak pompuan yang lari dari rumah sebanyak 3-4 kali.

5. Bung Mokhtar? Shahrizat Jalil? Women driver? Wtf. Forget this. Buang masa sahaja.

Pesanan khidmat masyarakat ini dibawakan oleh PP.

-PP-

Anwar Ibrahim Dan Konspirasi

Man, I can tell you this Anwar Ibrahim's life is full of conspiracy.  Apa saja yang dia buat salah, mesti ada alasan konspirasi. Liwat Saiful lepas tu lari pegi Turkish Embassy konon kononnya ada konspirasi orang nak bunuh dia. Banyak sangat tengok cerita Hollywood dia ni (termasuk cerita XXX jugak).

I bet, kalau Anwar ada kucing betina kat rumah, lepas tu kucing betina tu mengandung, mesti dia akan cakap ada konspirasi jugak. Kucing jantan BN rogol katanya.

My take? Sudah sudah la Anwar Ibrahim oiiii.....

-PP-

When I Grow Up....

When I grow up, I want to be like Anwar Ibrahim. Depan boleh. Belakang pun boleh.

Anwar is denying that the man appears on the sex video was him. "Lelaki tersebut buncit" katanya.

Anwar, dalam masa yang sama juga cakap dia masih belum menonton video lucah tersebut. Kalau belum tonton, macam mana tau buncit ke tak buncit?

Anyhow, polis tengah menyiasat kes ini dan sesiapa yang terlibat dalam menayangkan dan menonton video tersebut akan didakwa kerana memiliki dan menayangkan bahan lucah. Tak pasal pasal je kena charge. Stimmnya 19 minit je.

-PP-

I Am A Mutant

And so I received this sms telling me to stay indoor if it rains to prevent being exposed to the acid rain due to nuclear reactor leakage in Japan.

Being a stubborn creature, I ignored the sms and purposely exposed myself to the rain. The price I paid for being stubborn? I am now a mutant with superpower ability.

You can call me the Radiation Man and I can call those who believe in the above acid rain warning, a real idiot.

-PP-

Petua Untuk Suami Yang Ingin Berkahwin Lagi

Dear Suami,

Ingin memberitahu isteri anda tentang niat anda untuk kahwin lagi satu tapi takut akan berlaku perang?  Jangan bimbang, saya ada caranya. Jadikan fotografi sebagai hobi anda mulai dari sekarang.

Jika diperhatikan, sejak kebelakangan ini, wujud satu trend berkenaan bakal pasangan pengantin yang bakal berkahwin  bergambar sebelum majlis perkahwinan mereka untuk dijadikan kenangan ataupun lebih dikenali sebagai pre wedding photography.

So, para suami yang ingin berkahwin lagi,  jangan lupa, pada sesi pre wedding photography anda, pack up the camera dan beritahu isteri yang anda ingin menghadiri pre wedding photography. Si isteri sudah pasti tidak bercakap banyak kerana dia ingatkan anda seorang photographer profesional.

Jika satu hari nanti anda terkantoi, gunakan alasan " kan ari tu abang ada cakap nak pegi pre wedding photography? sayang tak marah pun?"

Sila ambil perhatian bahawa teknik ini memerlukan masa yang panjang dan kesabaran. Jangan pulak beli kamera hari ni, minggu depan dah nak pegi pre wedding photography. Ini akan menimbulkan syak wasangka isteri. Tunggu sekurang kurangnya 6 bulan. Lagi satu, tolong jangan pakai camera compact yang murah tu. Paling bodoh, entry level DSLR.

Good Luck.

-PP-

Spot The Idiot Contest

If you own a car, you would have noticed that the road tax should be displayed at the bottom left hand corner of the windscreen as instructed. 

Now, whenever you are on the road, look at the incoming cars and see how many idiots you can spot for displaying the road tax at another location other than instructed. 

Try it, it will be fun. It will be fun laughing at yourself too if you are one of them.

-PP-

Social Networking Yang Anti Social

Have you ever realised that the social networking application like Facebook, Twitter etc are actually anti social?

A get together session with real life friends are now meaningless as everybody is busy holding on the their mobile phone socialising online.

We need more physical networking. 

-PP-

Cara Mudah Untuk Memohon Sijil Halal

Dipetik dari Berita Harian Online : Nik Aziz cakap dia tidak menghalalkan kemenangan Barisan Nasional pada pilihanraya kecil Merlimau dan Kerdau kerana Barisan Nasional menggunakan jentera kerajaan.

Alasan pengusaha yang menggunakan logo halal Jakim palsu : Terlalu susah untuk memohon sijil halal Jakim kerana terlalu banyak "procedure" yang perlu dituruti.

Penyelesaian : Pohonlah sijil Halal yang dikeluarkan oleh Nik Aziz dan gunakan tanpa was-was. 

Fakta Tentang Pengundi Hantu

Berikut adalah beberapa fakta tentang pengundi hantu yang boleh dikongsi bersama :

1. Di barat, hantu dipercayai wujud kerana mereka yang menjadi hantu mempunyai urusan yang tidak dapat diselesaikan pada masa hayat mereka atau di dalam bahasa Inggeris dipanggil "unfinished business". Pengundi hantu adalah mereka yang cukup umur tetapi tidak pernah mengundi semasa hayat mereka. Mereka kembali untuk menyelesaikan urusan mereka.
2. Semua pengundi hantu berumur 21 tahun ke atas, iaitu had umur kelayakan mengundi.
3. Pengundi hantu hanya wujud bermusim. Sekiranya tiada pilihanraya, pengundi hantu akan lepak di perkampungan hantu. Pekampungan hantu tidak sama seperti perkampungan bunian.
4. Hanya pihak parti pembangkang, terutama sekali PAS yang boleh nampak pengundi hantu. Pengundi hantu tidak pernah menonjolkan diri kepada orang lain.
5. Pengundi hantu mempunyai pilihan kenderaan yang unik iaitu bas. Mungkin mereka ini mati semasa kemalangan bas ekspress dan menjadi hantu.
6. Pengundi hantu adalah penyokong Barisan Nasional.

-PP-

And My Gay Name Is.....

So, I have seen a lot of application where you can have the application guess what will be you name in different races such as Chinese, Greek, Japanese etc.

I tried one the other day and my gay name turned out to be Anwar Ibrahim.

Have a nice weekend.

-PP-

Yo Tambi !! Demo Yo!!

And so it was said that one of the purposes of the illegal gathering sponsored by Hindraf on Sunday was to pressure the Government to remove the novel Interlok from school syllabus. 

I can tell you that 90% of the people attending the demonstration have never read the novel itself. Some of them, may have never heard of Interlok and some of them may have not have a clue of what they are demonstrating for.  Tapi  apa ada hal, demonstration is fun. 

The fact the the Police has released 101 from the 109 people caught prove that I am almost right.

One particular footage on television that caught my attention was about this guy who was smartly dressed with white tucked in shirt, jeans, long hair and white stripes on the forehead (religious?) babbling something to the police while being whisked away. Dey tambi, itu macam punya smart, mahu pegi demo ke mahu pergi jalan jalan KLCC?

-PP-

Quote Of The Day

Maka celakalah bagi sesiapa yang menggunakan Facebook untuk berlagak dan menunjukkan kemewahan diri dan hantar benda, walaupun secara terselindung.

-PP-