Pesakit Mental... and I Have Never Bashed Anwar Ibrahim Before.....

Sejak kebelakangan ni, banyak betul Pipi baca pasal kisah bunuh kat suratkhabar. Mula mula kisah bunuh 4 beranak kat Negeri Sembilan. Pastu pulak kisah anak mengamuk bunuh bapak kat Terengganu.

Lepas tu negara dikejutkan dengan kisah budak 3 tahun kena sepak sampai mati oleh teman lelaki mak dia. Terbaru, seorang kanak kanak berumur 18 bulan mati akibat di dera oleh pengasuh. 

Pipi percaya mereka yang terlibat dalam kejadian bunuh atau dera ni ada masalah mental. Orang siuman tak akan kerat kepala pastu bawak pegi Shah Alam untuk suka suka. Yang kat Terengganu tu katanya dengar suara halus suruh bunuh bapak dia (suara korok mok mung!). 

Abang Mat pun ada masalah mental jugak. Mungkin dia tak berapa suka bawak teksi sebab kena pakai meter. Pipi agak je la. Orang gila je yang sanggup dera kanak kanak sampai mati.  Hari ni pun ada sorang lagi kena bunuh dgn kawan baik, Pipi ulang, kawan baik sebab cemburu. Tak ke mental tu?

Tapi Pipi rasa pesakit mental yang paling kronik sekali ialah DS Anwar Ibrahim. First there was 16 September, we have the numbers!!. Then liwat pulak. Pastu taknak sumpah. Dok buat wayang ke sana sini nak justify yang kononnya dia teraniaya. Asik asik la cakap konspirasi. Pastu asik la tangguh kes. Dulu cakap "Saya mesti lawan". Sekarang cakap "Saya mesti tangguh". Kalau betul tak liwat, lawan la kat court. Now, ramai pulak MP dengan ADUN Parti Kencing Rakyat keluar parti. Lagi la bertambah mental.......

Disclaimer -  I am not affiliated to any political party.

-PP-

Funny Quote of The Day

This, I quote from Utusan Online dated 1 Mac 2010:


"Mereka turut mengeluarkan kata-kata kesat kepada anggota penguat kuasa JHEAINS sambil mendakwa tindakan menangkap penceramah itu tidak wajar serta mencemarkan imej agama Islam." Read further here.


Funny........ tangkap penceremah mencemarkan imej Islam, maki orang boleh pulak?


-PP-

It Can't Be Any Dumber

It was kind of funny to read about the MACC investigation officer charged for soliciting bribe from an individual for not to investigate that individual for another bribery case.

This is as bad as a religious department officer asking for a sexual favour in return for not taking action against couples caught for close proximity.

While bribery is bad, I would understand if it happen to someone from another government agencies. But an MACC Officer? This is really stupid.

I thought I am done laughing when suddenly I read about Shidee, the used to be popular singer, at his 50s, married the daughter of his used to be girlfriend. Harian Metro and Melodi would be jumping in joy.

-PP-

Gambar Amaran Di Kotak Rokok Memang Berkesan

Hari tu Pipi kat kedai. Depan Pipi ada seorang lelaki nak beli rokok. Bila dapat rokok, dia belek belek kotak rokok tu then tanya "Ada gambar lain tak?". Pipi nampak kat kotak tu gambar lung cancer.

So tokeh kedai pun ambik kotak lain, kali ni gambar kanser tekak pulak. Lepas dua tiga kali belek terus dia ambik, bayar duit dan chow.

So, siapa kata kempen letak gambar kat kotak rokok tak berkesan? At least Pipi tahu orang lagi takut kanser paru paru dari kanser tekak.

-PP-

What The Fuss....Kartika?

I read in the newspaper that three women have been canned for having illicit sex recently, with no publicity, no media attention whatsoever. Kartika Sari, on the other hand is full of drama. First there was a delay, then the Minister, then the human right groups and NGOs,  then the divorce, then the Royals. What's next Kartika? A movie perhaps?

Kalau nak sebat, sebat je la. Bukan sampai mati pun.

-PP-

Happy Chinese New Year.......and a dumb act

It cannot be any dumber.

You are on Facebook. You limit your profile to be viewed only by certain people. You have no Chinese in your friends's list. Yet, your status says " Happy Chinese New Your to all my Chinese friends". Damn!!

-PP-

Why Proceed If We Can Postpone?

I was to publish this post a few days ago but I decided to postpone the process until now. Why? Because I can and I want to.

Unlike the sodomy trial of DS Anwar Ibrahim, my action of postponing this posting would not affect anybody, except for a few who stumbled upon this blog searching for "hard nipples" - you sickos!

The postponement of DS Anwar Ibrahim sodomy trial on the other hand would create various perception and unnecessary asssumptions. Not to mention the waste of Prosecutors time, the reporters' effort of having to queue for the court hearing pass and public eagerness in knowing on whether did DS Anwar Ibrahim really stick his penis inside Saiful's ass or not.

Seems that the phrase "Can I Fuck You Today?" is here to stay......for a long long time for sure.

-PP-

Betul Ke Ni.....?

Lepas baca berita kat atas, Pipi jadi confuse:

1. Sejak bila pulak kerajaan Melaka jadi busy body dan melibatkan diri dalam hal ehwal telecommunication? Seingat Pipi, 3G, GPRS etc are provided by Telcos macam Maxis ke, Celcom ke, Digi ke, to name a few.


2. Nanti semua nelayan kat Melaka dapat handphone yang ada 3G dengan GPRS free ke? 

3. Dengan ada GPRS, nelayan tak boleh lagi sesat ke dalam perairan negara jiran bila pergi tangkap ikan. Handphone Pipi pun ada GPRS,  I am so left behind. Tak tau pulak yang GPRS boleh bagi panduan kedudukan Pipi. Dalam phone manual takde pulak cerita pasal ni.

4. GPRS ke GPS ni?

-PP-

No, I Can't Read

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.

Thanks to this dude, I not need to post a lengthy entry today.

No, don't worry, he was not dead. He was no longer there the second time I passed by. Poor guy, he just can't read.

-PP-

Cerita Orang Bodoh

Cerita orang bodoh seperti mana yang dilaporkan oleh Utusan Malaysia, 30 Januari 2010:

1. Dua orang kerja kastam, sorang kerja Pejabat Tanah. Kena charge terima rasuah. Nilai rasuah tak boleh pun buat beli rumah. Nak bayar duit lawyer pun susah. Rasuah memang salah. Lain kali mintak besar punya jumlah. Upah lawyer bagus senang nak lepas walaupun memang salah. Ntah apa la punya masalah. Orang lain senang lenang jual pasir, korang tiga orang gak yang susah.

2. Kisah 2 beradik yang pangkal nama Raja. Lagi sorang tu mungkin ikut sebab suka suka. Takde kerja dok nak bakar gereja. Nampak pada berita macam nak bakar diri sendiri sahaja. Kesan melecur ada kat tangan dan juga kat muka. Gila punya kerja. Kalau nak bakar diri sendiri pun jangan la buat kat gereja. Tak pasal pasal orang UMNO yang kena.

3. Ni seriously gila punya kerja. Orang dah mati pun dia nak buat cerita. Kena hentam sini, kena hentam sana. End up, naik court je la dia. Pandai pulak “Not Guilty" katanya. Esok jemput la datang kenduri kahwin saya. Dengar cerita kenduri kahwin tak kurang meriahnya. Walaupun pengantin lelaki gundah gulana. Bukan apa, takut belum apa apa bini dah jadi janda.

4. Kisah amoi yang tak reti bahasa. Konon nak tackle boifren dari Amerika. Last last kena mamat Afrika. Apa nak buat, amoi dah bogel depan web kamera. Sekarang dah kena ugut dan sebar gambar bogel dia. Kenapa la bodo sangat senang nak percaya. Kat Malaysia ni dah tak ramai pakwe ke? Kalau nak bogel sangat, Playboy kan ada? Apa Pipi boleh cakap ialah padan muka!

-PP-

Pipi Rasa....

Pipi rasa......:

1. Pipi pandai.

2. Nak menangis bila dapat tau yang Fahrin Ahmad menangis masa press conference nak saman bekas awek dia. Huhuhu....buat malu je menangis sebab kena buli dengan Linda Onn.

3. Malaysia patut mengamalkan sistem dua parti politik. Satu parti untuk orang bodoh dan satu lagi parti untuk orang bodoh jugak.

4. Mengantuk.

5. Orang yang bawak motor pastu langgar lembu kat tengah jalan adalah lagi lembu dari lembu.

-PP-

I HATE YOU....!!

I HATE YOU! In fact I hate all of you….!! I can write this sentence once or I can write it 40,000 times or maybe I can get some 40,000 people to write the same sentence just for fun.

So, what are you going to do? Lodge a police report (for tarnishing your image) or just ignore the remarks (for the fear that it might hurt your feeling).

Maybe I should start my own fan page of “ I hate Pipi”( as if it was created by someone else) in Facebook and see how many idiots who would register as fans.

Oh man, I am starting to love this Facebook already.

-PP-

Harian Metro Sure Has An Amusing Story

Metro Ahad has never failed me in providing amusing story to cheer up my Sunday. Click HERE for the latest amusing news that I found when "browsing" the paper yesterday. In short, it was a story about a man who was ill treated by his wife(gila) who is having an affair with another man (pun gila jugak) but still loves her (semua gila).

I do not know how true the story is (remember the Restoran Berahi episode?) or does such a man exist, but to Imran, if you really exist, you are sure one hell of a total loser and a perfect idiot. Should it was a fabricated story, then kudos to Harian Metro for making fool of the rest of you guys. (Not me, I was just browsing, not reading).

And Imran, again, if you really exist, in between you legs, just below your abdomen, there is a thing created for man called dick (melayu - kote, cina - lancau, india - pundek, punai - untuk kanak kanak belum baligh). Dick comes with balls. Maybe you do not need these two things after all.

-PP-

Kesimpulan Hasil Dari Membelek Harian Metro

I was first thinking of posting this in English but afraid that I can't get the message across. So here I am, posting this in Bahasa Melayu for the benefit of all (go ahead, call me arrogant, I wouldn't mind).

Pipi ada membelek Harian Metro beberapa hari lepas. Sebelum itu sila ambil perhatian yang Pipi membelek dan bukan membaca (more about this later). Hasil dari belekan tersebut Pipi telah berjaya membuat kesimpulan berikut:

1. Orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai) gemar berjudi.

2. Orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai) suka berhutang.

3. Artis merupakan role model kepada orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai.)

Rasional kesimpulan Pipi adalah seperti berikut:

1. Harian Metro adalah akhbar berbahasa Melayu di mana majoriti pembeli dan pembacanya adalah orang Melayu. Agak jarang melihat orang bukan Melayu mengelek Harian Metro kecuali apek atau tambi pembeli suratkhabar lama. Oleh yang demkian, sudah pasti segala macam berita (benar atau bohong atau exaggerate) , iklan, pengumuman etc ditujukan untuk orang Melayu.

2. Terdapat begitu banyak sekali iklan untuk mendapatkan keputusan Magnum 4D, Sports Toto melalui SMS di dalam Harian Metro. Sudah tentu iklan ini ditujukan untuk pembaca Melayu yang gemar berjudi atau kaki nombor ekor dari kalangan orang Melayu. Pelik, satu pihak berusaha untuk membenteras penglibatan orang Melayu Islam dalam aktiviti perjudian, satu pihak lagi bersungguh sungguh mengiklankan cara untuk mendapatkan keputusan nombor ekor melalui sms.

3. Selain dari iklan keputusan nombor ekor, terdapat banyak juga iklan pemberi pinjaman berlesen. Terdapat juga iklan pinjaman yang dikhaskan untuk Bumiputera (yang majoritinya ialah orang Melayu) sahaja.

4. Iklan kursus perkahwinan selalunya meletakkan gambar artis yang menghadiri kursus di tempat mereka sebagai daya tarikan. Instead of focusing on the course content, mereka lebih fokus untuk menonjolkan siapakah artis terkenal yang menghadiri kursus di tempat mereka. Hasilnya, iklan penuh dengan gambar artis. As if, kalau pergi kursus kat situ akan bahagialah perkahwinan hingga sepanjang hayat, sedangkan artis bukanlah role model yang bagus untuk tujuan tersebut.

Berdasarkan kepada rasional Pipi mungkin tidak salah bagi Pipi membuat kesimpulan yang dinyatakan di atas. Ini belum lagi diambil kira iklan iklan untuk kote orang Melayu seperti iklan minyak lintah dan yang seakannya.

-PP-

Geng Bas Sekolah ......Geng Tak Sekolah

GBS atau Geng Bas Sekolah merupakan satu geng yang paling popular di kalangan kanak kanak pada masa sekarang.

Umum bagaimanapun tidak berapa mengetahui akan kewujudan lagi satu geng yang menggelarkan diri mereka GTS, satu nama yang diambil untuk menumpang populariti GBS.

Peranan Pipi di sini ialah untuk menyampaikan maklumat dan mewujudkan kesedaran kepada orang ramai tentang kewujudan GTS dan tahap ancaman mereka terhadap orang awam.

GTS ini jika dikaji secara mendalam terdiri daripada beberapa sub geng atau hybrid yang jugak dipanggil GTS. Pipi akan cuba menerangkan dengan terperinci tentang sub GTS ini untuk faedah semua.

GTS yang pertama ialah Geng Tak Sekolah. Adalah tidak susah untuk mengesan GTS jenis ini. Mereka ini selalu dikesan ketika memotong barisan di trafik light pada waktu puncak dan menyumbang kepada kesesakan jalanraya. Ahli geng ini juga tidak segan silu menggunakan laluan kecemasan di lebuhraya untuk cepat sampai. Majoriti ahli Geng Tak Sekolah merupakan "affiliate member" kepada Geng Tak Sabar dan Geng Tak Siuman. Tahap keganasan - Teramat Dungu.

GTS yang kedua ialah Geng Thaksin Shinawatra. Geng ini beroperasi di negara jiran dan tidak menimbulkan ancaman secara langsung terhadap orang awam di negara ini. Geng ini terkenal dengan kesetiaan yang tak berbelah bagi terhadap ketua dan juga pengasas GTS ini, yang setakat ini, masih lagi berjaya mengelakkan diri dari ditangkap oleh pihak berkuasa Thailand. Pengikut geng ini juga sanggup bersusah payah untuk ketua mereka yang bersenang lenang di luar negara. Tahap keganasan - Agak Dungu.

GTS yang ketiga ialah Geng Tok Se. To Se adalah loghat Kelantan yang jika diterjemahkan ke dalam Bahasa Melayu standard bermaksud Tak Nak. Jadi pada dasarnya Geng Tok Se ialah Geng Tak Nak. GTS ini biasanya dianggotai oleh public figure seperti artis dan juga ahli politik. Antara kegiatan ahli GTS ini yang menarik perhatian umum ialah artis wanita yang tok se mengaku yang dia sebernya sudah ber kahwin dengan ahli politik dan juga seorang ahli politik yang tok se bersumpah tapi perangai macam sumpah sumpah dan pandai menyumpah. Tahap keganasan - Dungu.

Hybrid atau sub geng GTS yang terakhir dan terganas ialah Geng Tak Sembahyang. Ahli geng ini tidak takutkan sesiapa termasuk Tuhan. Mereka ini mudah dikesan jika ada perlawanan akhir bola sepak, konsert percuma dan apa apa juga aktiviti hiburan. Tahap keganasan - Dirahsiakan.

Selain daripada GTS di atas terdapat beberapa kumpulan serpihan GTS yang lain seperti Geng Tak Senonoh dan Geng Tak Sopan. Kegiatan mereka ini agak terbatas kepada mengorek hidung di dalam kereta di atas jalan yang sesak dan juga cara berpakaian. GTS ini tidak menimbulkan ancaman yang serius. Sesetengah lelaki mungkin agak teruja apabila berjumpa dengan ahli wanita Geng Tak Sopan kerana, bersesuain dengan nama, pakain mereka agak tak sopan dan mendedahkan.

-PP-

Women Tennis ....... And Nipples

Watching the women game in Australian Open make me wonder why most of the players are having a hard on nipples. By the way, this is the best that you can get when it comes todisplaying a hard on nipples on television without any censorship.

My understanding is that, women nipples will become hard if the owner of the nipples is aroused. Maybe hitting the ball hard is a sexual stimulant to a women.

If this hypothesis is true, we might be seeing a woman tennis player reaches an orgasm at the final game of 5 sets. I would love to see this happen. Just imagine, a woman reaching orgasm in front of few thousand people, live. Not to mention a few hundred thousand else watching on TV . This is better than the orgasm faked by those stupid actress in hard core porn movies.

Maybe the TV station would consider changing the classification of women tennis game to 18SX in future.

-PP-

The RM10,000 Comment

I read about a student who was charged in the court for leaving an intimidating comment in Facebook in the NST last week.

For not being able to post the RM 10,000 bail, the student is to be detained in the police lock up until next Monday.

I can't understand why he left that stupid comment, trying to be cool maybe, but that action sure cost him his future. By the way, the police report was lodged by a member of a political party.

There are few things that can be learned from this. First, make sure you have a lot of money before committing any crime as it would be helpful. This has been demonstrated by a few of high profile criminal cases before. If you are just a 25 year old student, then, best of luck.

Secondly, intimidating comment is not everybody traits. You might get away if you are a politician. Finally, as much as possible, try not to have any political party member in your social networking friend list to avoid unnecessary trouble.

It make think though. Since the police report was made by a member of a political party, maybe the student could ask for the assistance from the opposing political party to post the bail. Any political party would love to gain the mileage over the current "We are sharing the same God now" situation.

-PP-

Pipi...For The Past Year

For those who are wondering what happened to me for the past years, followings are a few things that I could share with all of you:

1. I learned origami. Not the original paper folding origami but a simpler version. Instead of using paper, I was taught to use praying mat. I swear it was damn simple as we only need to learn a few of Muslim prayer position. I passed with flying colours. My first practical experience - Masjid Kristal, Terengganu.

2. Trying to make a living as a stuntman. Chickened out during my first task when the coordinator asked me to lie on the road in front of a moving car in Perak. It was just not my cup if tea. So, I quit, but that makcik, I can tell you is sure one hell of a dare devil.

3. Got myself a smart phone. Well, it was a gift actually. Owning a smart phone makes me even smarter. Not everybody will benefit from a smartphone though. You can easily spot t an idiot using a smartphone just for show.

4. I joined the bandwidth by having a Facebook account. I can't really understand why I did this in the first place, peer pressure or maybe just trying to be "in". Update my status only after a year, leave a comment to one of my lucky friends once or twice a month, never accept any invitation or gift from others and never bother to join any group at all. I guess I am not the socializing via website type of person. I think it's lame and not real. Facebook, to some is just for showing off on how lucky or good or wealthy you are compared to the other unfortunate people. By the way, if I have enough fans, I'll create a group called...you bet...You Are Still An Idiot.

Till next time.....

-PP-

To Blog ...Or Not To Blog

Hello,

For those who are wondering of what happened to me...I am still alive and now contemplating on whether to continue witting and posting my opinion on this blog or not.

With all those stupidities happening around, maybe I should. Or, I could just pretend that every single idiot has been wiped out from the face of the earth.

I might take me another six months, if not forever, before I could really make up my mind. You know, only fools will rush and smart ass like me, take full consideration before making any decision. (Next time please don't blame the government agency for the delay in taking any action. They are not ineffective, they are just considering the issues thoroughly).

Meanwhile, watch this space......

-PP-

I Have Told You Before.....!!

History repeats.....Idiots never learn.....

Dulu lagi Pipi dah cakap pasal tanah runtuh ni....

Malas nak taip panjang panjang, just feel free to click the link above.

-PP-