Pipi Rasa....

Pipi rasa......:

1. Pipi pandai.

2. Nak menangis bila dapat tau yang Fahrin Ahmad menangis masa press conference nak saman bekas awek dia. Huhuhu....buat malu je menangis sebab kena buli dengan Linda Onn.

3. Malaysia patut mengamalkan sistem dua parti politik. Satu parti untuk orang bodoh dan satu lagi parti untuk orang bodoh jugak.

4. Mengantuk.

5. Orang yang bawak motor pastu langgar lembu kat tengah jalan adalah lagi lembu dari lembu.

-PP-

I HATE YOU....!!

I HATE YOU! In fact I hate all of you….!! I can write this sentence once or I can write it 40,000 times or maybe I can get some 40,000 people to write the same sentence just for fun.

So, what are you going to do? Lodge a police report (for tarnishing your image) or just ignore the remarks (for the fear that it might hurt your feeling).

Maybe I should start my own fan page of “ I hate Pipi”( as if it was created by someone else) in Facebook and see how many idiots who would register as fans.

Oh man, I am starting to love this Facebook already.

-PP-

Harian Metro Sure Has An Amusing Story

Metro Ahad has never failed me in providing amusing story to cheer up my Sunday. Click HERE for the latest amusing news that I found when "browsing" the paper yesterday. In short, it was a story about a man who was ill treated by his wife(gila) who is having an affair with another man (pun gila jugak) but still loves her (semua gila).

I do not know how true the story is (remember the Restoran Berahi episode?) or does such a man exist, but to Imran, if you really exist, you are sure one hell of a total loser and a perfect idiot. Should it was a fabricated story, then kudos to Harian Metro for making fool of the rest of you guys. (Not me, I was just browsing, not reading).

And Imran, again, if you really exist, in between you legs, just below your abdomen, there is a thing created for man called dick (melayu - kote, cina - lancau, india - pundek, punai - untuk kanak kanak belum baligh). Dick comes with balls. Maybe you do not need these two things after all.

-PP-

Kesimpulan Hasil Dari Membelek Harian Metro

I was first thinking of posting this in English but afraid that I can't get the message across. So here I am, posting this in Bahasa Melayu for the benefit of all (go ahead, call me arrogant, I wouldn't mind).

Pipi ada membelek Harian Metro beberapa hari lepas. Sebelum itu sila ambil perhatian yang Pipi membelek dan bukan membaca (more about this later). Hasil dari belekan tersebut Pipi telah berjaya membuat kesimpulan berikut:

1. Orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai) gemar berjudi.

2. Orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai) suka berhutang.

3. Artis merupakan role model kepada orang Melayu (yang tidak pandai.)

Rasional kesimpulan Pipi adalah seperti berikut:

1. Harian Metro adalah akhbar berbahasa Melayu di mana majoriti pembeli dan pembacanya adalah orang Melayu. Agak jarang melihat orang bukan Melayu mengelek Harian Metro kecuali apek atau tambi pembeli suratkhabar lama. Oleh yang demkian, sudah pasti segala macam berita (benar atau bohong atau exaggerate) , iklan, pengumuman etc ditujukan untuk orang Melayu.

2. Terdapat begitu banyak sekali iklan untuk mendapatkan keputusan Magnum 4D, Sports Toto melalui SMS di dalam Harian Metro. Sudah tentu iklan ini ditujukan untuk pembaca Melayu yang gemar berjudi atau kaki nombor ekor dari kalangan orang Melayu. Pelik, satu pihak berusaha untuk membenteras penglibatan orang Melayu Islam dalam aktiviti perjudian, satu pihak lagi bersungguh sungguh mengiklankan cara untuk mendapatkan keputusan nombor ekor melalui sms.

3. Selain dari iklan keputusan nombor ekor, terdapat banyak juga iklan pemberi pinjaman berlesen. Terdapat juga iklan pinjaman yang dikhaskan untuk Bumiputera (yang majoritinya ialah orang Melayu) sahaja.

4. Iklan kursus perkahwinan selalunya meletakkan gambar artis yang menghadiri kursus di tempat mereka sebagai daya tarikan. Instead of focusing on the course content, mereka lebih fokus untuk menonjolkan siapakah artis terkenal yang menghadiri kursus di tempat mereka. Hasilnya, iklan penuh dengan gambar artis. As if, kalau pergi kursus kat situ akan bahagialah perkahwinan hingga sepanjang hayat, sedangkan artis bukanlah role model yang bagus untuk tujuan tersebut.

Berdasarkan kepada rasional Pipi mungkin tidak salah bagi Pipi membuat kesimpulan yang dinyatakan di atas. Ini belum lagi diambil kira iklan iklan untuk kote orang Melayu seperti iklan minyak lintah dan yang seakannya.

-PP-

Geng Bas Sekolah ......Geng Tak Sekolah

GBS atau Geng Bas Sekolah merupakan satu geng yang paling popular di kalangan kanak kanak pada masa sekarang.

Umum bagaimanapun tidak berapa mengetahui akan kewujudan lagi satu geng yang menggelarkan diri mereka GTS, satu nama yang diambil untuk menumpang populariti GBS.

Peranan Pipi di sini ialah untuk menyampaikan maklumat dan mewujudkan kesedaran kepada orang ramai tentang kewujudan GTS dan tahap ancaman mereka terhadap orang awam.

GTS ini jika dikaji secara mendalam terdiri daripada beberapa sub geng atau hybrid yang jugak dipanggil GTS. Pipi akan cuba menerangkan dengan terperinci tentang sub GTS ini untuk faedah semua.

GTS yang pertama ialah Geng Tak Sekolah. Adalah tidak susah untuk mengesan GTS jenis ini. Mereka ini selalu dikesan ketika memotong barisan di trafik light pada waktu puncak dan menyumbang kepada kesesakan jalanraya. Ahli geng ini juga tidak segan silu menggunakan laluan kecemasan di lebuhraya untuk cepat sampai. Majoriti ahli Geng Tak Sekolah merupakan "affiliate member" kepada Geng Tak Sabar dan Geng Tak Siuman. Tahap keganasan - Teramat Dungu.

GTS yang kedua ialah Geng Thaksin Shinawatra. Geng ini beroperasi di negara jiran dan tidak menimbulkan ancaman secara langsung terhadap orang awam di negara ini. Geng ini terkenal dengan kesetiaan yang tak berbelah bagi terhadap ketua dan juga pengasas GTS ini, yang setakat ini, masih lagi berjaya mengelakkan diri dari ditangkap oleh pihak berkuasa Thailand. Pengikut geng ini juga sanggup bersusah payah untuk ketua mereka yang bersenang lenang di luar negara. Tahap keganasan - Agak Dungu.

GTS yang ketiga ialah Geng Tok Se. To Se adalah loghat Kelantan yang jika diterjemahkan ke dalam Bahasa Melayu standard bermaksud Tak Nak. Jadi pada dasarnya Geng Tok Se ialah Geng Tak Nak. GTS ini biasanya dianggotai oleh public figure seperti artis dan juga ahli politik. Antara kegiatan ahli GTS ini yang menarik perhatian umum ialah artis wanita yang tok se mengaku yang dia sebernya sudah ber kahwin dengan ahli politik dan juga seorang ahli politik yang tok se bersumpah tapi perangai macam sumpah sumpah dan pandai menyumpah. Tahap keganasan - Dungu.

Hybrid atau sub geng GTS yang terakhir dan terganas ialah Geng Tak Sembahyang. Ahli geng ini tidak takutkan sesiapa termasuk Tuhan. Mereka ini mudah dikesan jika ada perlawanan akhir bola sepak, konsert percuma dan apa apa juga aktiviti hiburan. Tahap keganasan - Dirahsiakan.

Selain daripada GTS di atas terdapat beberapa kumpulan serpihan GTS yang lain seperti Geng Tak Senonoh dan Geng Tak Sopan. Kegiatan mereka ini agak terbatas kepada mengorek hidung di dalam kereta di atas jalan yang sesak dan juga cara berpakaian. GTS ini tidak menimbulkan ancaman yang serius. Sesetengah lelaki mungkin agak teruja apabila berjumpa dengan ahli wanita Geng Tak Sopan kerana, bersesuain dengan nama, pakain mereka agak tak sopan dan mendedahkan.

-PP-

Women Tennis ....... And Nipples

Watching the women game in Australian Open make me wonder why most of the players are having a hard on nipples. By the way, this is the best that you can get when it comes todisplaying a hard on nipples on television without any censorship.

My understanding is that, women nipples will become hard if the owner of the nipples is aroused. Maybe hitting the ball hard is a sexual stimulant to a women.

If this hypothesis is true, we might be seeing a woman tennis player reaches an orgasm at the final game of 5 sets. I would love to see this happen. Just imagine, a woman reaching orgasm in front of few thousand people, live. Not to mention a few hundred thousand else watching on TV . This is better than the orgasm faked by those stupid actress in hard core porn movies.

Maybe the TV station would consider changing the classification of women tennis game to 18SX in future.

-PP-

The RM10,000 Comment

I read about a student who was charged in the court for leaving an intimidating comment in Facebook in the NST last week.

For not being able to post the RM 10,000 bail, the student is to be detained in the police lock up until next Monday.

I can't understand why he left that stupid comment, trying to be cool maybe, but that action sure cost him his future. By the way, the police report was lodged by a member of a political party.

There are few things that can be learned from this. First, make sure you have a lot of money before committing any crime as it would be helpful. This has been demonstrated by a few of high profile criminal cases before. If you are just a 25 year old student, then, best of luck.

Secondly, intimidating comment is not everybody traits. You might get away if you are a politician. Finally, as much as possible, try not to have any political party member in your social networking friend list to avoid unnecessary trouble.

It make think though. Since the police report was made by a member of a political party, maybe the student could ask for the assistance from the opposing political party to post the bail. Any political party would love to gain the mileage over the current "We are sharing the same God now" situation.

-PP-

Pipi...For The Past Year

For those who are wondering what happened to me for the past years, followings are a few things that I could share with all of you:

1. I learned origami. Not the original paper folding origami but a simpler version. Instead of using paper, I was taught to use praying mat. I swear it was damn simple as we only need to learn a few of Muslim prayer position. I passed with flying colours. My first practical experience - Masjid Kristal, Terengganu.

2. Trying to make a living as a stuntman. Chickened out during my first task when the coordinator asked me to lie on the road in front of a moving car in Perak. It was just not my cup if tea. So, I quit, but that makcik, I can tell you is sure one hell of a dare devil.

3. Got myself a smart phone. Well, it was a gift actually. Owning a smart phone makes me even smarter. Not everybody will benefit from a smartphone though. You can easily spot t an idiot using a smartphone just for show.

4. I joined the bandwidth by having a Facebook account. I can't really understand why I did this in the first place, peer pressure or maybe just trying to be "in". Update my status only after a year, leave a comment to one of my lucky friends once or twice a month, never accept any invitation or gift from others and never bother to join any group at all. I guess I am not the socializing via website type of person. I think it's lame and not real. Facebook, to some is just for showing off on how lucky or good or wealthy you are compared to the other unfortunate people. By the way, if I have enough fans, I'll create a group called...you bet...You Are Still An Idiot.

Till next time.....

-PP-

To Blog ...Or Not To Blog

Hello,

For those who are wondering of what happened to me...I am still alive and now contemplating on whether to continue witting and posting my opinion on this blog or not.

With all those stupidities happening around, maybe I should. Or, I could just pretend that every single idiot has been wiped out from the face of the earth.

I might take me another six months, if not forever, before I could really make up my mind. You know, only fools will rush and smart ass like me, take full consideration before making any decision. (Next time please don't blame the government agency for the delay in taking any action. They are not ineffective, they are just considering the issues thoroughly).

Meanwhile, watch this space......

-PP-