Analysis Pilhanraya Kecil DUN Tenang

Nik Aziz cakap siapa undi Barisan Nasional, dia orang jahiliah, siapa undi PAS, dapat masuk syurga. 

Oleh yang demikian, di DUN Tenang, ada 6,699 orang jahiliah berbanding dengan 2992 bakal penghuni syurga. Mereka yang tidak keluar mengundi pula terdiri dari golongan yang tidak kisah samada dipimpin oleh kerajaan jahiliah atau kerajaan Islam ala Nik Aziz. Mungkin mereka lebih suka dipimpin oleh Ayah Pin yang mempunyai Kerajaan Langit ataupun oleh balu As -Shaari yang ada Parlimen Roh.

142 orang pengundi rosak pula terdiri daripada mereka yang bersusah payah meredah hujan semata-mata untuk menunjukkan ketidakcerdikan mereka dalam membuat pilihan.

-PP-

Sidang Parlimen Roh

And so I read about this sidang Parlimen Roh by the former followers of Al - Arqam and thought, what the fuck, this religious extremist are weird man. Take this Al - Arqam sect for example, they claim that they are preaching Islamic teaching but at the same time practicing something that, well, I could say stupid and not in the teaching of Islam a all. This prove my point that people are stupid. People in group, they are stupider. 

I have my own version of Parlimen Roh too. Instead of attended by those weirdos and the spirit (roh) of the founder of the now defunct Al - Arqam leader, my Parlimen Roh will be attended by Rohaya, Rohayu, Rohani and maybe Rohaizad or Rohaizat.

I might as well invite Fasha Sandha now that she is single. Last time, pakai bikini sebab cemburu, maybe this time, tak pakai apa apa sebab kecewa. Way to go Fasha!!.

-PP-

If I Were A Politician

If I were a politician, I would be an Opposition member. The job description as an Opposition member is easy. All I know is to oppose whatever being said, planned and to be done by the ruling party. Asal government bukak mulut je, saya pasti akan bangkang, tak kira samada cadangan tersebut baik untuk rakyat. Nama pun pembangkang kan? So, kerja saya membangkanglah.

Another benefit is that I can say whatever I want without being afraid of being subject to any punishment. When it comes to by election, for example, saya fitnah je. No problem. Saya pembangkang. Kalau polis tangkap, saya cakap kerajaan tak demokratik. Saya ingat lepas ni nak pegi bakar novel la pulak. 

The best thing is, if I were to be the Ketua Pembangkang. Syok oooo.....liwat orang,  pastu tangguh kes sampai mati.

Hidup Pembangkang !!

-PP-

Hormatilah Institusi Raja

Perlu diingatkan di sini bahawa janganlah kita mempersenda atau mempermainkan institusi beraja negara kerana raja atau sultan adalah payung perlembagaan.

Raja Lawak however, memang untuk dikeji tanpa perlu rasa bersalah. Buat masa sekarang, Astro hanya membuang masa dan duit kerana mengadakan rancangan Raja Lawak kerana semua orang tahu bahawa takhta Raja Lawak masih lagi dipegang oleh Anwar Ibrahim.

Metro Ahad semalam pun ada cerita pasal raja lawak jugak sebab hari hari dia kena buli dengan bini dia. Bodoh sungguh.

-PP-

Fasha Sanda Yang Cerdik

Front page Kosmo melapurkan Fasha Sanda pegi Bali dan pakai bikini sebab dia cemburu bila kekasih dia sekarang pegi bercuti dengan keluarga bekas isteri beliau.

Satu hari nanti mungkin kita akan dapat lihat Fasha Sanda berbogel di dalam majalah Playboy versi Indonesia apabila tahap cemburu dia melebihi paras normal.

Fasha Sanda = Otak Udang.

-PP-

Suicide Bombers Are Stupid

Pengebom berani mati (selain dari penyokong tegar Anwar Ibrahim) adalah manusia yang sangat bodoh. Kebanyakan mereka adalah extremis Islam seperti di Afghanistan, Pakistan etc yang percaya dengan meletupkan diri dan juga insan lain yang tak bersalah (juga majoritinya adalah orang Islam sendiri) adalah jaminan untuk mereka masuk syurga. 

Kalau betul letup diri boleh masuk syurga, sudah pasti ketua mereka awal awal lagi dah volunteer nak pegi letupkan diri masing masing. Sendiri tak mau pegi letup, suruh orang lain pulak. Atas nama perjuangan konon.

Dekat Malaysia, kita tak perlu susah payah meletupkan diri untuk masuk syurga. Pangkah PAS, hidup lebih lama dan dijamin masuk syurga. Pun bodoh jugak ni.

-PP-

Isteri Super Yg Tak Super

So I saw the headline of Metro Ahad about isteri super disclosing her secret of having 23 children and 60 grandchildren.

And I quote "Menjaga payudara, memakan jamu dan bersenam antara petua yang diamalkan Mansura Sirai, 65 bagi menjinakkan suaminya, sekali gus membolehkan mereka memiliki ramai anak."

Damn! Ingatkan super yang betul betul hebat, rupanya super beranak ramai. My personal view is nothing to proud of if majority of the children are only housewives.

Beranak senang, nak mendidik anak jadi orang yang berjaya, is another story.

Cats, on average, give birth to 4 kittens at a time. During its life cycle, a cat may give birth 6-10 times (bergantung kepada tahap kegatalan). That makes 24 to 40 kittens on average. Everybody, please say hi to super cat.

-PP-

Makhluk Halus Yang Bijak - Part II

Something triggered me about my posting title Makhluk Halus Yang Bijak yesterday. You may argue that the ghost or spirit does communicate in another language as well. Say, a ghost or spirit in an English movie will definitely communicate, whether verbally or in writing, in English. Same goes to the Thai, Korean, Japanese and Indian movie as well.

It looks like I am the stupid party here. Wrong! The movie was done is such a way for the audience to understand. Like this, seorang Melayu pegi cari pelacur dekat Siam pastu mati kena tembak dan jadi hantu. Secara logiknya, hantu tersebut akan cakap Melayu.  But in the movie, that hantu will speak in Thai language or not to speak at all. Otherwise, mampus penonton tak paham nanti. Kena buat subtitle untuk hantu pulak.

In Malaysia, things are kind of different as it is a multi racial country. How the ghost communicate depends on the race of the party it is terrorizing. If it is the Malay family, then the ghost will communicate in Malay. Same goes to the Chinese and Indian family.

Whatever it is, I think the ghost need to attend school first before they could write. Be it Sekolah Hantu Jenis Kebangsaan for Chinese and Indian or Sekolah Kebangsaan for Malay. Thing might not work for the Indian hantu who goes to Sekolah Cina and terrorizing Indian family. Sampai bila bila pun hantu tak boleh tulis Tamil. Jimat 10 ringgit.

-PP-

Makhluk Halus Yang Bijak

Makhluk halus are getting smarter.

Recently, a makhluk halus terrorizing a family in Kelantan wrote "Selamat tinggal semua" on a ten ringgit note after a bomoh was being called to get rid of it.

So smart that the makhluk halus chose to write in Malay since it knows that Malays love this kind of story.It made me wonder on is there a school for ghost somewhere? Or has Malaysia now have our own version of Hogwarts now .(for those who are not so bright, please Google for Hogwarts). 

Funny thing was that the makhluk halus chose to write on a ten ringgit note and not 50 or 100. Pandai pulak dia bezakan nilai duit. 

This is not the first time we heard of this. Previously, there was also a story about another makhlus halus, a jin or something terrorizing another family, also in the East Coast.  Asal maghrib je hilang budak tu. The climax was when the girl claim that she was brought by the jin to Gunung Jerai but in actual, she was in Negeri Sembilan. Macam mana jin bawak pergi Gunung Jerai? Terbang? Naik bas?

Come to think of it, are this spirit becoming clever or we are too dumb to believe this? You dumb. Me not.

-PP-

Stupidity....

One thing for sure about stupidity is never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Living proofs:

1. Anwar Ibrahim

2. Nik Aziz

3. Apek Senario

4. Senario

5. Raja Lawak

Not so lucky : Dr. Rozmey. 

-PP-

Happy New Year

Maybe it is still not too late for me to wish the smart readers of this blog ( stumbled upon while searching for "perempuan telanjang" does not count) a very happy 2011. For the three followers, whoever you are, I trust that have have made the smartest move in you life. Thank you to the 3 of you.

The rest may continue to be stupid so that the people of like Anwar "Can I Fuck U" Ibrahim, Nik "Cakap Merapu" Aziz, tokey skim cepat kaya berselindung di sebalik nama e-business, e-trade, e-mall, e-diot, bomoh2 penipu, upline MLM yang menjanjikan pulangan cepat kepada downline and many more con-men can continue to fool and make fun out of you.

Happy New Year.

-PP-