Fancy doing a business? Follow these tips and you will be having a very successful business in no time.
Build Your Image
Image is very important in business. You must portray your image as a successful businessman (the word businessman also applies to businesswoman, nanti korang cakap Pipi bias pulak). It does not matter if you have just started your business or you company has just been approved by ROC. First, get yourself an expensive car, Benz or equivalent is advisable. Jangan bawak Kancil, people do not want to do business with someone driving a Kancil. We are talking about multi million businesses. Driving a Kancil will only downgrade you.
Next, you must build the image of your company, and the best way to do this is by creating a fancy website. People are lazy; they prefer to visit your website rather than visiting your office (if you have one). Create an impression that your business is big; use other companies’ reference, preferably a company which is based a thousand miles away. Make sure you include an impressive organization chart in your website to show that you have adequate people manning your company while in actual there are only two people working with you. Choose a catchy url so that people will have the tendency to click them. Don’t use any of that free website such as Geocities etc. It’s not good for your business’s image. Please take note that you-are-an-idiot is a good example of BAD url. Try to avoid this kind of url.
The Targeted Costumer.
As a guide line you may refer to the following statistic:
60% of the world population does not require your product
30 % of them does not have any money to buy your product
5% of them are nuts
5% of them are willing to buy anything
Now, if you look at the statistic, there will always be 10% of the world population who would buy your product. Based on the current world population, there are more than 50 million people who would by your product. This is a huge number. Please make sure that you sell your product in the right location. Selling an ice cream in Antarctica or winter clothing in Africa is a really stupid idea.
The Product or Services
If you are having trouble with the product, or you have no idea what to sell, create a similar product which is already in the market and named the product in such a way that it will confuse the 10% targeted customers. A good example is Sonny walkman, Naiwa hi fi or you may try Penconic electrical products.
The Sales and Marketing Plan.
This is a very important aspect to make sure that your business is successful. You will need a good sales and marketing personnel. First, you will need to narrow down your customer. If the majority of your customer is male, then hire a beautiful sales person (and vice versa if your customer is mostly women). Don’t worry about their IQ level. Most of the customers will have the tendency to talk about the personal life of your sales person rather than the product itself, if he or she is good looking.
You may also want to provide them with a standard script for selling your product. If your sales person gets caught in a tricky situation, tell them to do this – whisper this sentence to the client’s ear in a very seductive way “I would do anything in order to make sure I secure this contract”. I am sure the contract is yours.
You must also look into a good advertisement. If you can afford it, spam others’ email. It is a good strategy; you don’t have to bother about their privacy or whether they are reading your stupid email or not. You may also want to try those advertisements in the tabloid newspaper. The rate is cheaper compared to the mainstream newspaper. Be worried though that you might need to compete with all the “kelulusan segera” loan (read: along) advertisement.
Add some unverified statistic in your advertisement such as your product is 99.99% usable. Don’t worry, if someone complaints that he/she cannot use your product, you can always tell him/her that he/she is the unlucky .01% and offer a replacement.
After Sales Service.
You must make it very difficult for your customer to speak to your customer service officer. Make them press as many buttons as possible on their phone. Make them wait, and while waiting, feed their ear with the most irritating sound available. If any of your customer manage to get through (your customer must be a very patient person then), pass the phone around. You may also use the recordings system on your customer service hotline. Remember, people love to communicate with machine. Don’t be guilty of doing this.
And if your customer service officer is having trouble solving the problem with your customer, ask the customer to call back. DO NOT offer to return their call. It costs you money. The chances of your customer returning the call are very low. They can’t afford the go through all the irritating process all over again.
Now, if you follow the above tips and your business is successful, don’t forget to come back and drop a few lines. I will accept your thanks in advance. Good luck with your business.
Build Your Image
Image is very important in business. You must portray your image as a successful businessman (the word businessman also applies to businesswoman, nanti korang cakap Pipi bias pulak). It does not matter if you have just started your business or you company has just been approved by ROC. First, get yourself an expensive car, Benz or equivalent is advisable. Jangan bawak Kancil, people do not want to do business with someone driving a Kancil. We are talking about multi million businesses. Driving a Kancil will only downgrade you.
Next, you must build the image of your company, and the best way to do this is by creating a fancy website. People are lazy; they prefer to visit your website rather than visiting your office (if you have one). Create an impression that your business is big; use other companies’ reference, preferably a company which is based a thousand miles away. Make sure you include an impressive organization chart in your website to show that you have adequate people manning your company while in actual there are only two people working with you. Choose a catchy url so that people will have the tendency to click them. Don’t use any of that free website such as Geocities etc. It’s not good for your business’s image. Please take note that you-are-an-idiot is a good example of BAD url. Try to avoid this kind of url.
The Targeted Costumer.
As a guide line you may refer to the following statistic:
60% of the world population does not require your product
30 % of them does not have any money to buy your product
5% of them are nuts
5% of them are willing to buy anything
Now, if you look at the statistic, there will always be 10% of the world population who would buy your product. Based on the current world population, there are more than 50 million people who would by your product. This is a huge number. Please make sure that you sell your product in the right location. Selling an ice cream in Antarctica or winter clothing in Africa is a really stupid idea.
The Product or Services
If you are having trouble with the product, or you have no idea what to sell, create a similar product which is already in the market and named the product in such a way that it will confuse the 10% targeted customers. A good example is Sonny walkman, Naiwa hi fi or you may try Penconic electrical products.
The Sales and Marketing Plan.
This is a very important aspect to make sure that your business is successful. You will need a good sales and marketing personnel. First, you will need to narrow down your customer. If the majority of your customer is male, then hire a beautiful sales person (and vice versa if your customer is mostly women). Don’t worry about their IQ level. Most of the customers will have the tendency to talk about the personal life of your sales person rather than the product itself, if he or she is good looking.
You may also want to provide them with a standard script for selling your product. If your sales person gets caught in a tricky situation, tell them to do this – whisper this sentence to the client’s ear in a very seductive way “I would do anything in order to make sure I secure this contract”. I am sure the contract is yours.
You must also look into a good advertisement. If you can afford it, spam others’ email. It is a good strategy; you don’t have to bother about their privacy or whether they are reading your stupid email or not. You may also want to try those advertisements in the tabloid newspaper. The rate is cheaper compared to the mainstream newspaper. Be worried though that you might need to compete with all the “kelulusan segera” loan (read: along) advertisement.
Add some unverified statistic in your advertisement such as your product is 99.99% usable. Don’t worry, if someone complaints that he/she cannot use your product, you can always tell him/her that he/she is the unlucky .01% and offer a replacement.
After Sales Service.
You must make it very difficult for your customer to speak to your customer service officer. Make them press as many buttons as possible on their phone. Make them wait, and while waiting, feed their ear with the most irritating sound available. If any of your customer manage to get through (your customer must be a very patient person then), pass the phone around. You may also use the recordings system on your customer service hotline. Remember, people love to communicate with machine. Don’t be guilty of doing this.
And if your customer service officer is having trouble solving the problem with your customer, ask the customer to call back. DO NOT offer to return their call. It costs you money. The chances of your customer returning the call are very low. They can’t afford the go through all the irritating process all over again.
Now, if you follow the above tips and your business is successful, don’t forget to come back and drop a few lines. I will accept your thanks in advance. Good luck with your business.
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