Idiots on the road

I am too lazy to write the opening paragraph, so let’s just see the characteristics of the idiots on the road, Malaysian road particularly.

Idiots communicate telepathically.
Imagine this, you are not an idiot (compliment from Pipi) and you are driving on the road, while out of the sudden, a car suddenly swerves in front of you from the other lane without giving any signal. Being a little bit smarter (compliment from Pipi) you will definitely swear things like Shit! Damn!, Idiot!, pegi mati! Tak reti bagi signal ke?!!!. You look around you but notice nobody (the other idiots) is swearing like you. The fact is that they have already known that this idiot will be changing lane. This is because they are communicating telepathically with each other using their under utilize brain cell. Being a smart person (again, compliment from Pipi), you will not be able to pick up this brain signal. So in future, please bring along an idiot to ride with you so that he/she can tell you when someone is changing lane. If you have no stupid friend, bring a donkey, this will do the trick.

Idiots always in emergency.
During any bad traffic situation, you will definitely notice cars passing through you using the emergency lane. This people are idiots and they are having an emergency situation. Don’t blame them; you are the lucky few who live peacefully and without having to face emergency situation daily. This is the type of idiots that I hate the most. Dah la bodoh, hari hari emergency. Letak siren dgn lampu kaler biru kat atas bumbung la macam tu! Bodoh!

To the idiots, a person who is observing the speed limit is the idiot.
The speed limit is 110km/h on the PLUS hiway. You (the smart person) are driving at that speed limit when suddenly a car comes from behind flashing the headlamp. You get the message, move to the other lane and let the idiot pass you. Good. Do you think you get the message right? NO, you are wrong. The flash light is actually a simplified Morse code having the meaning of – get out of my way you idiot! tepi la bodoh! Aku nak lalu ni, kalau nak bawak slow2 pegi jalan2 tepi pantai la!

Idiots only have ONE finger.
Poor those idiots, the only finger that they have are the middle finger.

Some stupid male drivers are gay.
Please be careful with this type of driver. They love to follow your car in the shortest distance possible, at the point of “kissing” the rear of your car. Come on man! Relieve your sexual desire somewhere else, the only holes that a car has is the exhaust pipe, you moron!

Idiots are colour blind.

They cannot distinguish between red, yellow and green. To them, all the colours in the world are green. That’s why you can see a lot of this people just ignore the yellow and red light. They can’t also tell what yellow box means.

p/s - if you see this is green, then you are one of them


There is another “unclassified” driver in Malaysia. They have the ability to pass through all the worst traffic condition with ease. They don’t have to get in the line at the toll plaza. They love to use the hazard light while driving. They are the lucky few who have the right to shove you to the side when they are on the road. They have the siren and blue flashing light installed on the roof of, NOT their cars but the other cars (normally white in colour) traveling with them!